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It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.First rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it.Light travels faster than sound. So, y don't u smile & get dimples?

So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila.Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.I am on a seafood diet. The father is Nutella.It’s okay if you don’t like me. Go home and love your family.Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before.Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.Facebook is asking, ‘What’s on your mind?’ but I think ‘Who’s on your mind?’ is a better question.I think I’m gonna take a hot shower.

Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. by Hattie Soykan.

Funny Messages. Funny; Insightful; WTF. We take a look at the funny side of things.Facebook is intoxicating and updating your status messages gives you a new high. Funny Status Messages: This is the best list of funny status messages for Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

From one liners to below the belt puns, the following…If you are looking for brightening up your dull day, then you have landed on the right page. Share; Tweet; LinkedIn; Pin; Email ; Did you know that almost 30 million Facebook users update their status messages at least once a day?

Please pray for me.Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy.Facebook is kind of like a prison. These may be funny or sad. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls!An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy.

Facebook is still a blessing. Solve it.

I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.Got a problem with me? Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny I’m self-employed.Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death.I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold.